亚伯拉罕·林肯（Abraham Lincoln）的非传统技术处理压力冲突

1842年，一位年轻的亚伯拉罕·林肯（Abraham Lincoln）学到了一个宝贵的教训，这改变了他的生活。

This lesson was so important, it propelled him to become arguably the most efficient president in United States history. He led the Union to a Civil War victory, abolished slavery, strengthened the federal government, and modernized the economy.

The crazy part is the lesson is supported by modern psychologists as well. In fact, neuroscientists from UCLA and University of Texas-Austin discuss the positive effects on the brain.

In addition, Lincoln’s unconventional practice produces the following benefits:

Reduces stress

更有效地解决问题

Resolves critical disagreements with others

So what did Abraham Lincoln learn that propelled him to becoming one of the most influential men in history?

Well, it started in 1842 when he publicly ridiculed an obnoxious politician named James Shield through the local newspaper.

小镇大笑起来，但希尔德（Shield）是个骄傲的人。因此，他愤怒地挑战了林肯，以与死亡作斗争。林肯（显然）反对决斗，但在公开批评盾牌之后，他被迫加入：

Minutes before the duel began, Lincoln nervously held his sword awaiting to fight for his life. But by shear luck, the duel never happened. It was called off at the last minute. Lincoln took a huge sigh of relief.

He could have lost his life, all due to this stupid public ridicule.

Needless to say, he learned a valuable lesson here -- never again publish an insulting letter (but still write them).

Wait … still write them? But don’t publish them? Huh? Let me explain.

21年后的快进到1863年7月4日，当时亚伯拉罕·林肯（Abraham Lincoln）在内战期间担任总统。

同盟军将军罗伯特·李（Robert E. Lee）被困在波托马克河和身后快速移动的联盟军之间。最后，联盟结束战争的胜利即将到来。李被困。他无法逃脱。

林肯意识到了这个千载难逢的机会，并命令米德将军占领李的军队立即结束战争。最后, the Civil War will soon be over, thought Lincoln.

米德将军做了什么？He did the exact opposite.

他没有立即进攻，而是问其他人的想法。他没有听林肯的命令。结果，李与他的焊料险些逃离波托马克。

Lincoln was furious.

米德将军的愚蠢震惊，他给他写了这封信：

Yet, here's the thing -- General Meade never read this letter.林肯从未寄出。

他去世后发现了其他未愤怒的信。

Rather, Lincoln inspired General Meade, giving him trust and encouragement. Eventually, this led to the end of the Civil War, as The Union defeated the Confederacy — a pivotal moment in the United States' history.

这是因为林肯的自我控制和理解批评是毫无意义的。他意识到残酷地对某人进行残酷的责任，只会使他们捍卫自己，证明自己的行为是合理的。这只会伤害某人的骄傲和引起怨恨。

Now when I’m angry with someone, I use a similar process. I call itThe Lincoln Email.

It works exactly like Lincoln intended, just with a 21^stCentury Twist（因为我们不是在这里发送蜗牛邮件）：

步骤1：写你对这个人有多生气

使用林肯电子邮件，我只是从胸口弄清楚了。这可能是一个供应商，他打了一个订单并延迟了订单，一个在重要项目上犯了一个错误的同事，或者我们的配偶再次忘记了我们在杂货店唯一要求的东西。

Say exactly what’s on your mind. If you think that person is totally incompetent, say it. Shocked that they messed upagain？！没问题，就像林肯一样，准确地说明了您的感觉，未经审查。

根据大脑成像学习conducted by UCLA, putting feelings into words produces therapeutic effects on the brain, similar to agratitude journal.

Similarly, a psychologist at University of Texas-Austinconcludes该常规记录增强了称为T淋巴细胞的免疫细胞。写下您的想法还可以帮助您减轻压力，更有效地解决问题，并解决与他人的分歧。

步骤2：将此句子添加到电子邮件的底部

发泄后，将此消息复制并粘贴到电子邮件底部：

Step 3: Send the email to yourself, read it 30 minutes later

安排电子邮件30分钟后。现在假装您是收到电子邮件的人。将自己放在鞋子上，阅读步骤1中的单词。收到的感觉如何？

现在阅读步骤2中的单词。收到的感觉如何？

通过等待30分钟，它可以花时间冷静下来，并同情它的感觉receive这封信，不发送。

B.F. Skinner，举世闻名的哈佛心理学家, proved that animals rewarded for good behavior outperform those punished for bad behavior. This turned out to be relevant for people as well.

因此，林肯不相信出现问题时惩罚他人。相反，他鼓励他们，同时对发生的事情承担全部责任。

因此，下次我们生气，沮丧或困惑时，让我们问自己：“亚伯拉罕·林肯在这种情况下会做什么？”

In fact, we’re in good company asking this question. When Theodore Roosevelt was confronted with a significant problem during his presidency, he would lean back and stare at the large painting of Abraham Lincoln, asking himself, “How would Lincoln solve this problem?”

因此，不要批评人们，而是尝试理解他们。同情，善良和鼓励总是会胜任撕毁一个新的人。但是，如果您真正感受到了冲动，请发送自己林肯电子邮件.

友善，鼓励他人并建立强大的关系。

因为用美国最有影响力的人之一的话说：